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wtom
11-16-2006, 01:38 PM
Memo: Cussing at work


Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.



Thank You,
Human Resources

Broli
11-16-2006, 02:17 PM
lol

Kevin@nextmod
11-16-2006, 02:19 PM
LMFAO.....!

wtom
11-16-2006, 02:20 PM
It was Jobesies' notes from leaving his last job.

SIM SIMMA
11-16-2006, 03:42 PM
who told you?

;D

Actually a lot of those are used right now at BMW.. but that's just how techies talk...

Chuckie
11-16-2006, 04:34 PM
Excuse me, I cannot help you right now, I've gotta get something from my car

Is this used at BMW to tell the new employees.. i ain't doing sh_t for you cause you don't got a bimmer.

Fuman
11-16-2006, 09:06 PM
I love it, hilarious!! ;D

Zaku_4
11-16-2006, 11:39 PM
rofl,

thats good. i especially liked this: We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

stas
11-17-2006, 12:13 AM
8) TRY SAYING:* That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:* What the f___?



but the reason why the original one is so good is because u can express the level of thrustration by manipulating the loudness and clarity of the letter "F".


p.s. +1 to your HR department

TheProfessor
11-17-2006, 08:29 AM
LOL, that was good.

MAZDA Kitten
11-17-2006, 11:13 AM
*copy & paste*
Click send




*runs to the watercooler to discuss latest forward*

majic
11-17-2006, 11:29 AM
*copy & paste*
Click send




*runs to the watercooler to discuss latest forward*


u mofo.. YOU sent me that forward like 2 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahahahah.. lemme see if i still have it..