Our society has hit its apogee: he drives a Pontiac

[Aitch]

To the "gentleman" driving a silver Pontiac G8 on the Don Valley Parkway this morning, I'd just like to say this: you're right, I get it, it all makes sense now.

Driving on the north-bound DVP at 8am is generally quite stressful, on any given weekday. So I hope you'll forgive me that I took offense to your actions. When I'm driving at 20 km/h in the centre lane, a car two lengths ahead of me, and a truck less than a car length ahead of my bumper in the right lane, I was quite surprised to see you charge up to the truck's bumper; I was even more surprised that after braking briefly, you immediately squeezed through the impossibly small gap between my car, the truck on my right, and then proceeded to tailgate the BMW in front of me.

Lets just say this irritated me. After you had cut me off for no good reason, the truck in the right lane began to pull ahead of you, so irrationally I thought this was a decent chance to voice my opinion and pulled behind the truck to drive beside you. I wasn't sure if you would grasp verbal communication, so I opened with a simple flip of the bird through my open window. At the same time, I noticed you had already started shouting at me, which I unfortunately could not understand since it came at such rapid-fire speed. In case you didn't hear my response, I sarcastically wished you well on your journey, that you might arrive 20 seconds before me while endangering other drivers and possibly jamming the road with accidents behind you.

However, you did not take well to this message. Perhaps, as you so gallantly offered, I should have pulled over so you could beat some sense in to me. Because instead, it took me the better part of my remaining drive to realize I was wrong, and why. You see, because you drive a bigger car, with a bigger engine, and are obviously more fashionable than I, you deserve to drive as if every inch of the road is reserved for you. The plebeians, such as myself, with whom you are forced to share the road, must do a better job to recognize our lower status, and not question your actions.

Perhaps this was merely you at your worst. Either way, I'm sorry I didn't catch more of your sage invectives over the roaring sound of your stock exhaust, for I'm sure it would have served me well. Lastly, I'd just like to say that perhaps the adage about men with larger cars having to compensate for something, is true. After all, I drive a small car because my genitals can be seen by the naked eye, while you must drive an (admittedly nice) neo-musclecar because yours are only visible on a sub-atomic scale.

I feel sorry for your boyfriend, and hope you're nicer to him than you were to me. And if you do come across this, please feel free to respond - if you can figure out how to work the keyboard. I'm sure it would be at least slightly entertaining.

[Fobio]

lol...for the amount of frustration you had suffered, I'd have peppered in a few more expletives...

[RedRaptor]

Wait...is this a gay couple with road rage? Gay people are usually very chilling...

[Fobio]

Wait...is this a gay couple with road rage? Gay people are usually very chilling...

^^^Wait...I see what you did there...wait...actually no...ok wait...I do
again?!!...lol...

I think OP was just trying to call the G8 driver ghey, instead of an actual acct of any sausage slurping during the incident...

[FoXy]

wow, bravo... I am so proud to have read this. OWNED BITCH!!!

Well done, I would have pulled over and wanted to beat the guy with the cloest blunt object I could find. I would find it comforting to know that at the end of the day he drives a GM... enough said... :AH

[Aitch]

Yeah, apologies to any homosexuals I may offend with my generalization that this driver was part of their community. Its just that most of the angry, macho caucasian guys that I've met appear to be the most homophobic, and in turn, the most likely to be closet homosexuals. This guy fit the bill :)

Oh, and I'm not exactly built to dish out beatings to other guys. However my sense of moral superiority is without equal :p

That's a little egotistical. But when I get cut off, then threatened with a beating for being offended, its hard to believe I'm in the wrong.

[mazdabetty]

After all, I drive a small car because my genitals can be seen by the naked eye, while you must drive an (admittedly nice) neo-musclecar because yours are only visible on a sub-atomic scale.

bahahahahh



I sarcastically wished you well on your journey, that you might arrive 20 seconds before me while endangering other drivers and possibly jamming the road with accidents behind you

This is so true... I always wonder if people are totally satisfied after embarrassing themselves to get one whole car length ahead :chuckle

Sorry you had such crappy morning.

[ElegantGremlin]

I'm surprised you got the chance to pull up beside him. Thought he'd pull back into the other lane when he saw it moving faster.

[jonjon72]

I found the best way to put a bit of fear into these types of drivers is to take a pic/video (safely of course). I always have my cell phone camera/video on standby. Take a video of the license plate, then the driver driving eratically and finally of the driver.

Did this to some idiot that tailgated me and a handful of other drivers in morning traffic then passed on the centre turning late and almost hitting my car to avoid oncoming traffic. When I catch up to this kid, he starts yelling at me and I pull out the camera and thank him for the video of his driving skills and verbal assault. Needless to say, he shut up and pulled behind me driving well below the speed limit. :loco

[Fobio]

I found the best way to put a bit of fear into these types of drivers is to take a pic/video (safely of course). I always have my cell phone camera/video on standby. Take a video of the license plate, then the driver driving eratically and finally of the driver.

Did this to some idiot that tailgated me and a handful of other drivers in morning traffic then passed on the centre turning late and almost hitting my car to avoid oncoming traffic. When I catch up to this kid, he starts yelling at me and I pull out the camera and thank him for the video of his driving skills and verbal assault. Needless to say, he shut up and pulled behind me driving well below the speed limit. :loco

Tho useful, this tactic will soon be illegal under the new cellphone/handheld device ban law.

I still stick by my laser-tag idea:

You can "tag" (electronically) a car for violations you see. If that car gets 3 "tags" in a day, an officer will automagically be alerted pull the fawker over.

[ElegantGremlin]

Tho useful, this tactic will soon be illegal under the new cellphone/handheld device ban law.

I still stick by my laser-tag idea:

You can "tag" (electronically) a car for violations you see. If that car gets 3 "tags" in a day, an officer will automagically be alerted pull the fawker over.

Problem with that is: I don't like you... I tag you for speeding, careless driving and not wearing a seatbelt when none of it's true. You get pulled over and fined heavily for shit you didn't do.

[Fobio]

Problem with that is: I don't like you... I tag you for speeding, careless driving and not wearing a seatbelt when none of it's true. You get pulled over and fined heavily for shit you didn't do.

You only get 1 tag to use per day you traffic Nazi...hehe...use it wisely. That's why 3 tags/day is significant.

[RedRaptor]

Not to play the race card because aHoles are aHoles. But do you think the fact that you're not "built to lay down a beating" and the fact that you're asian (I think you mentioned you were in the past), have anything to do with it?

I was driving home from the downtown core last night going north on Bathurst. I was stopped a traffic light and this cute girl pulls up with a not so cute GM Aveo or whatever. She's on the right and its obvious she's trying to get ahead of me before the parked car up ahead. I'm a gentleman so I let her pass without even stepping on the gas when the lights turned green. All of a sudden, this loser with a Pontiac Vibe behind her thinks he can get ahead too. Of course, my Mazda3 might be rusting but there is no way I will let her be beaten by a Vibe off the line. So some high rpms and noise from my CAI, he is behind me. As he pulls up beside me, he acts like a tough guy and rolls down his window. I roll down my window quickly, looked over and said "What mother****er?". He just gives me a stare and drives away.

You just can't be nice in this city.

[Fobio]

Not to play the race card because aHoles are aHoles. But do you think the fact that you're not "built to lay down a beating" and the fact that you're asian (I think you mentioned you were in the past), have anything to do with it?

I was driving home from the downtown core last night going north on Bathurst. I was stopped a traffic light and this cute girl pulls up with a not so cute GM Aveo or whatever. She's on the right and its obvious she's trying to get ahead of me before the parked car up ahead. I'm a gentleman so I let her pass without even stepping on the gas when the lights turned green. All of a sudden, this loser with a Pontiac Vibe behind her thinks he can get ahead too. Of course, my Mazda3 might be rusting but there is no way I will let her be beaten by a Vibe off the line. So some high rpms and noise from my CAI, he is behind me. As he pulls up beside me, he acts like a tough guy and rolls down his window. I roll down my window quickly, looked over and said "What mother****er?". He just gives me a stare and drives away.

You just can't be nice in this city.

that'a boy! :bana

[MistaChin]

Yeah you could easily get some friends to drive around and tag someone like crazy. It's a good idea dont get me wrong but i can easily see the system being abused.

Oh and to Aitch, sometimes the best insults are those well-written. lol kudos on your post! The dude's boyfriend probably didn't put out and he was fiending for some morning sausage

[ElegantGremlin]

You only get 1 tag to use per day you traffic Nazi...hehe...use it wisely. That's why 3 tags/day is significant.

Me and 2 friends don't like you, you're still screwed. :chuckle

[Fobio]

Me and 2 friends don't like you, you're still screwed. :chuckle

Look...if I have 3 guys chasing after me to get me a traffic ticket, I'll likely have bigger problems on my plate...lol...

Like whether this zit will go away for my first date with the cutie from Remedial Typing...shit, hope my mom will lend me her car this wknd, so I don't have to bus it to 'sauga from Scarlem...oh wait, those bullies at school might be stalking me and my insurance might go up...better get some fuxking tokens...

[jonjon72]

me and 2 friends don't like you, you're still screwed. :chuckle

lol.

[JSI]

This is why I live on the subway line. I get on at Summerhill and get to work at Yonge and Dundas in about 15 minutes. No stress getting to and from work. Plus I average under 10K a year on my car.

Jeremy

[Aitch]

Not to play the race card because aHoles are aHoles. But do you think the fact that you're not "built to lay down a beating" and the fact that you're asian (I think you mentioned you were in the past), have anything to do with it?

Nope. I'm a scrawny white guy, and he appeared to be of Spanish or Italian descent. No discrimination, purely douchebaggery.

[jonjon72]

Not to play the race card because aHoles are aHoles. But do you think the fact that you're not "built to lay down a beating" and the fact that you're asian (I think you mentioned you were in the past), have anything to do with it?

I was driving home from the downtown core last night going north on Bathurst. I was stopped a traffic light and this cute girl pulls up with a not so cute GM Aveo or whatever. She's on the right and its obvious she's trying to get ahead of me before the parked car up ahead. I'm a gentleman so I let her pass without even stepping on the gas when the lights turned green. All of a sudden, this loser with a Pontiac Vibe behind her thinks he can get ahead too. Of course, my Mazda3 might be rusting but there is no way I will let her be beaten by a Vibe off the line. So some high rpms and noise from my CAI, he is behind me. As he pulls up beside me, he acts like a tough guy and rolls down his window. I roll down my window quickly, looked over and said "What mother****er?". He just gives me a stare and drives away.

You just can't be nice in this city.


I think they expect the "asian" guy to be quiet and not say or do a thing. :loco

[Fobio]

I think they expect the "asian" guy to be quiet and not say or do a thing. :loco

Up until they sit on a bus beside one on the way to Winnipeg...who's sitting quietly, but holding a very big knife...that cuts off some guy's head.

[Axelarate]

Up until they sit on a bus beside one on the way to Winnipeg...who's sitting quietly, but holding a very big knife...that cuts off some guy's head.

LOL :chuckle

[Thrizzl3]

Not to play the race card because aHoles are aHoles. But do you think the fact that you're not "built to lay down a beating" and the fact that you're asian (I think you mentioned you were in the past), have anything to do with it?

I was driving home from the downtown core last night going north on Bathurst. I was stopped a traffic light and this cute girl pulls up with a not so cute GM Aveo or whatever. She's on the right and its obvious she's trying to get ahead of me before the parked car up ahead. I'm a gentleman so I let her pass without even stepping on the gas when the lights turned green. All of a sudden, this loser with a Pontiac Vibe behind her thinks he can get ahead too. Of course, my Mazda3 might be rusting but there is no way I will let her be beaten by a Vibe off the line. So some high rpms and noise from my CAI, he is behind me. As he pulls up beside me, he acts like a tough guy and rolls down his window. I roll down my window quickly, looked over and said "What mother****er?". He just gives me a stare and drives away.

You just can't be nice in this city.

LOL GOLD! i would have done the same thing!


Up until they sit on a bus beside one on the way to Winnipeg...who's sitting quietly, but holding a very big knife...that cuts off some guy's head.

that just gave me the chills..

[chinsterr]

Up until they sit on a bus beside one on the way to Winnipeg...who's sitting quietly, but holding a very big knife...that cuts off some guy's head.

you beat me to it.

[Chimera]

que the "slow clap" sequence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KpoqynjV1g (1:34)

[FoXy]

OMG this is toooooo good. LMAO... Ppl are *******s, always will be. THey always have something to prove to you... especially if you drive a modified car.

[Garu]

OMG this is toooooo good. LMAO... Ppl are *******s, always will be. THey always have something to prove to you... especially if you drive a modified car.

Hmm.. that's probably half of crew in this forum.

[SpeedBaby]

Aitch, I'm truly amazed at your ability to control your anger and emotions! you were able not only to hold it in until you had a chance to get it out on the forum, you also did it in the outmost sarcastic way.
I do tend to react right on the spot when it comes to road rage. in a case where the person in the wrong not only fails to apologize, but instead goes on the offensive, i usually flip either by purposely getting infront of him and slowing my speed or if it actually comes to the invitation to pull over on the side to continue the 'debate' im usually more than open to that. as a matter of fact every time it actually came down to that it turns out that those big scary guys are only worth something when they are hidden within their pennis extension cars and in most cases they wouldn't even pull over. the only time when someone actually did pull over with the intension to confront me, once i got him out of the car he was very quick to apologize.

again, i don't want to be a hypocrite, i know that sometimes there are traffic situations where i also cut someone off, but i do acknowledge it by apologizing. it's all about the approach you chose.

[silvermist99]

the dvp commute lol.. i've had plenty of stories & close calls. I just turn my music up and chill when I'm in traffic and let people cut me off... or leave really early like I did today, as long as you're pass 401/dvp before 7:20am you're good, only light traffic.

[JSI]

7:20am you're good, only light traffic.
:whoa that's early.

[silvermist99]

:whoa that's early.

I go to work before 6am sometimes... it starts getting busy after 5:40. aka: Don Valley Parking Lot

[Aitch]

the dvp commute lol.. i've had plenty of stories & close calls. I just turn my music up and chill when I'm in traffic and let people cut me off...

This is what I'm trying to do as much as possible. I'm usually a pretty chill person, and while my temper does flare, it really isn't worth getting into a confrontation over, especially while the cars are still moving. I try to resist trying to get in front of them and slowing them down, rather, I'll try to take advantage of traffic to get ahead as I normally would, even if they weren't there. If that ends up blocking them from getting ahead at some point, even better.

However they still get the finger from me.

[towelsnap]

....Aitch... I power laughed sooo hard reading this . Not due to some ass cutting you off but how well you wrote this and put it together. :bana

[Cardinal Fang]

LMAO.

How I wish more people could rant like Aitch just did. :chuckle Oh....and +10 points for well crafted use of "plebeians" in your post.

[Garu]

LMAO.

How I wish more people could rant like Aitch just did. :chuckle Oh....and +10 points for well crafted use of "plebeians" in your post.

Damn! I think that's 1st time I'm seeing Fang doing LMAO. So it must have been really good.
What is plebeians anyways? Does it mean commoners?

[Cardinal Fang]

I could help but laugh. Definitely written with a dry "English" slant and dare I say a small touch of Douglas Adams to spice it up.

Yeah basically the common people. The term is taken from Roman times when the "plebs" did most of the crap work for the empire.

[Aitch]

I think its because my dad is a British import and my mom was an English teacher. :)

[marvin24k]

Thank you for sharing Aitch. There is not much you can do as this city is highly populated. I find myself in these situations almost everyday.

[MAZDA Kitten]

OMFGGG LOL thanks for the read. I deal with the same kind of shit on a daily basis.

Can someone explain why people flip you off if they are the one who CUT YOU OFF and you just honked! WTF is wrong with people. Seriously.

[crono06]

Yeah, or the ones, when they see a lane is ending, and they go in that lane to try and squeeze like 1-3 cars ahead. What I like to do is not let them in, and then THEY get mad at ME, as if I was the one doing something wrong...

It's especially funnie when it's people driving super old crusty Civics or Integras... Not hating on Civics though, as I have an 8th gen in the house myself.

[MAZDA Kitten]

BTW what is this electronic reporting thing??