jaimie08mazda3
10-15-2009, 11:36 AM
so the other day I was at work reading the sun in the paper and i came a cross a few of them that made me laugh... hope you all enjoy
DO AS I SAY, NOT AS ...
A West Virginia man was charged this week with cultivating marijuana and possessing the drug with an intent to deliver.
Not an uncommon charge -- but what makes this case unique is that Wendell Aaron Searls, 56, is a spokesman in an anti-drug campaign.
"Nobody wants to work next to anybody whose judgment is impaired by drugs or alcohol," Searls says in the U.S.-aired commercial for the Affiliated Construction Trades Foundation. "We don't just talk a drug-free work force. We do something about it."
Steve White, director of ACT, admitted the allegations their spokesman is facing are a tad embarrassing.
"Were we fooled? Apparently so," White told the Huntington Herald-Dispatch. "This instance, while it might be tragic and ironic, it is exactly what we are trying to prevent -- people who use illegal drugs being in the workplace."
Technically, no one has claimed Searls was under the influence while on the job.
The real moral to this story? Those that live in grass houses shouldn't get stoned
'WII HAVE A WARRANT'
Florida cops raided a convicted drug dealer's place in March and found the usual stuff -- weapons, drugs and a bunch of cash. They also stumbled upon a Nintendo Wii. Too bad they didn't find the security camera set up in the house. Footage of the officers playing a Wii bowling game during the nine-hour raid surfaced this week.
"How do you explain it?" Polk County Sheriff Grady told the Tampa Tribune.
Um, Grady probably hasn't played the game -- or else he would know how addictive it is.
"Obviously, this is not the kind of behaviour we condone," Lakeland Police Chief Roger Boatner told the Tribune. "There was a lot of down time, but that does not excuse the fact that we should act as consummate professionals."
An internal investigation has been launched.
Game over.
FISH TALE
A Texas woman, angry at her former husband for taking back jewelry he had given to her as a gift, brought her own brand of crazy to the revenge party.
The scorned woman skipped the slashing-tire and harassing-voice-message route that many other jilted lovers have taken and decided to hit him where it really hurts: His aquarium.
She went to his apartment, took several goldfish ... then ate them.
The man called police after she left his place with seven fish. When officers arrived at the woman's home she directed them to the kitchen, where they found four fried fish.
They asked where the remaining three goldfish were and the woman replied, "I already ate those," police department spokesman Vance Mitchell told the Houston Chronicle.
The fish were purchased by the couple in happier times, he said, and were considered shared property.
It's a good thing they didn't have children together.
SHAGGIN' WAGON
An Australian couple made headlines this week for having sex in the back of a car. Sure, handcuffs and alcohol were involved, but it hardly sounds newsworthy.
Except, of course, that the vehicle they were in was a police wagon, and they were being taken to jail for public drunkenness at the time.
"It was a red light and I had to sit behind the paddy wagon for a few minutes," Hannah Walker, 18, told the Northern Territory News. "I couldn't believe it when I saw them just going for it."
The couple was fully clothed, she said, "but from their movements you could tell they were having sex."
Perhaps they were trying to get off on the charges?
Stolen car found in wrong garage.. 2 years later
BERLIN — An Audi sedan written off by an elderly German woman as stolen two years ago has resurfaced — in her neighbour’s garage beneath a thick layer of dust.
Police said Thursday the 82-year-old from the northern city of Hildesheim took the car in for repairs two years ago and had the mechanics drive it back to her house and park it in her garage.
She got the keys and papers from her mailbox, but when she went to get the car it was nowhere to be found. So she reported it stolen.
Fast forward to Wednesday when her neighbour went to clean up his unused garage so it could be rented. He found the car under “a centimetre-deep coating of dust.”
It didn’t take police long to piece together that the mechanics had parked it in the wrong garage.
DO AS I SAY, NOT AS ...
A West Virginia man was charged this week with cultivating marijuana and possessing the drug with an intent to deliver.
Not an uncommon charge -- but what makes this case unique is that Wendell Aaron Searls, 56, is a spokesman in an anti-drug campaign.
"Nobody wants to work next to anybody whose judgment is impaired by drugs or alcohol," Searls says in the U.S.-aired commercial for the Affiliated Construction Trades Foundation. "We don't just talk a drug-free work force. We do something about it."
Steve White, director of ACT, admitted the allegations their spokesman is facing are a tad embarrassing.
"Were we fooled? Apparently so," White told the Huntington Herald-Dispatch. "This instance, while it might be tragic and ironic, it is exactly what we are trying to prevent -- people who use illegal drugs being in the workplace."
Technically, no one has claimed Searls was under the influence while on the job.
The real moral to this story? Those that live in grass houses shouldn't get stoned
'WII HAVE A WARRANT'
Florida cops raided a convicted drug dealer's place in March and found the usual stuff -- weapons, drugs and a bunch of cash. They also stumbled upon a Nintendo Wii. Too bad they didn't find the security camera set up in the house. Footage of the officers playing a Wii bowling game during the nine-hour raid surfaced this week.
"How do you explain it?" Polk County Sheriff Grady told the Tampa Tribune.
Um, Grady probably hasn't played the game -- or else he would know how addictive it is.
"Obviously, this is not the kind of behaviour we condone," Lakeland Police Chief Roger Boatner told the Tribune. "There was a lot of down time, but that does not excuse the fact that we should act as consummate professionals."
An internal investigation has been launched.
Game over.
FISH TALE
A Texas woman, angry at her former husband for taking back jewelry he had given to her as a gift, brought her own brand of crazy to the revenge party.
The scorned woman skipped the slashing-tire and harassing-voice-message route that many other jilted lovers have taken and decided to hit him where it really hurts: His aquarium.
She went to his apartment, took several goldfish ... then ate them.
The man called police after she left his place with seven fish. When officers arrived at the woman's home she directed them to the kitchen, where they found four fried fish.
They asked where the remaining three goldfish were and the woman replied, "I already ate those," police department spokesman Vance Mitchell told the Houston Chronicle.
The fish were purchased by the couple in happier times, he said, and were considered shared property.
It's a good thing they didn't have children together.
SHAGGIN' WAGON
An Australian couple made headlines this week for having sex in the back of a car. Sure, handcuffs and alcohol were involved, but it hardly sounds newsworthy.
Except, of course, that the vehicle they were in was a police wagon, and they were being taken to jail for public drunkenness at the time.
"It was a red light and I had to sit behind the paddy wagon for a few minutes," Hannah Walker, 18, told the Northern Territory News. "I couldn't believe it when I saw them just going for it."
The couple was fully clothed, she said, "but from their movements you could tell they were having sex."
Perhaps they were trying to get off on the charges?
Stolen car found in wrong garage.. 2 years later
BERLIN — An Audi sedan written off by an elderly German woman as stolen two years ago has resurfaced — in her neighbour’s garage beneath a thick layer of dust.
Police said Thursday the 82-year-old from the northern city of Hildesheim took the car in for repairs two years ago and had the mechanics drive it back to her house and park it in her garage.
She got the keys and papers from her mailbox, but when she went to get the car it was nowhere to be found. So she reported it stolen.
Fast forward to Wednesday when her neighbour went to clean up his unused garage so it could be rented. He found the car under “a centimetre-deep coating of dust.”
It didn’t take police long to piece together that the mechanics had parked it in the wrong garage.